Expectations.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned while studying abroad: Throw your expectations out the window.

Whether I am trying fried eggplant with mustard, registering for classes at 6am, or going on a Peruvian weeklong retreat, I have realized that each experience is different and deserves its own name, its own unreplicated fingerprint. Each experience deserves a splash of color and personality in the story that is my abroad semester here in Lima.  Each encounter is specifically created to embrace the people, place, and moment in a unique manner. By entering these new and cultural experiences with "expectations," I am immediately limiting myself. With each predetermined judgment or awaited anticipation, I am taking away from the very beauty that is a new experience. I am learning the best way to prepare for these new moments....is by not preparing at all. For uncharted territories are nothing but the opportunity to learn something new, the opportunity to be surprised, the opportunity to be left in awe...bewildered by God´s beauty. And how can we plan for that? We cannot.

I was left in awe last week by one of these "experiences." God revealed to me the power behind expectations in such an unbelievable way...

Wanting to get more involved here with the Christian groups on my University´s campus, I sought out the student ministry department seeking ways to get more plugged in. I met the priests (two very young and lively men) who introduced me to other students involved in the Christian ministries. After speaking to various groups of students, Father Lennel introduced me to Angelica. If I had to describe Angelica, I would say that she is one of the most joyful, beautiful women I have ever met. It is clear by the happiness spilling out of her that she really loves God and the Catholic Church. :) She was so sweet right away...telling me all about things to do in Lima and ways to get more involved with my faith on campus. Going home that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I wanted to speak with her again....there was something so different about her, so intriguing. I sent her a message that evening asking her is she would like to meet up for lunch. She said that she would love to and we planned to meet up the next day in one of the campus cafeterias.

Walking to meet her the next day, I was thinking about her love for God. I knew that I wanted to ask her more about it...where did it come from? How had she arrived at this point in her life? What made her so excited and passionate about the Catholic Church? The more and more I thought about it, the more and more I told myself to stop wondering....With Peru being 92% Catholic, I convinced myself that clearly Angelica was just culturally and naturally Catholic like everyone else in Peru. I presumed she grew up Catholic her whole life and was positive that she had the same story of “everyone” else in the country...raised by parents in the Church...and now simply continuing that path into her college life. I assumed that her Christian faith was a direct result of her surroundings.

I was so wrong.

Angelica and I sat down with our lunches...and within a matter of 2 minutes, we were talking about faith. I asked her how she came to believe so strongly in her Christian faith. (Although I politely asked, I was sure I already knew her answer).

Her response absolutely shocked me.

Angelica shared with me her story:

Angelica grew up as a minority in Peru her entire life. She was always the “different one.” It was not her skin color or her language that made her so, it was her religion. Angelica and her family were Buddhist living in a Catholic dominated country. With little to no Buddhist community for them to relate with, Angelica told me it was hard at times finding her true identity among friends and classmates. Regardless, she continued to practice her Buddhist faith and follow her parents/grandparents wishes for her within the realms of the religion.

At age 23, Angelica experienced a drastic tug at her heart, causing everything to change. She told me that out of nowhere, she began questioning her Buddhist faith. She began wondering if God, Jesus really existed. She began doubting Buddhism and its beliefs. She went to bed that same night asking herself, “What do I believe in?”

That night Angelica had a dream that changed her life. In her dream, Angelica was dressed in all white and holding a cross. She looked down at the crucifix, and in the dream began to recite the Catholic creed, word for word….perfectly memorized.

“I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth. I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord. He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary. He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended to the dead. On the third day he rose again. He ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. Amen.”

This prayer, said by Catholics every week at Mass around the world, was something completely foreign and unknown to Angelica. As a Buddhist, she had never attended Mass or any Catholic/Christian event in her life. Yet, in her dream, she was reciting this prayer perfectly…each word rolling off of her tongue with such grace and familiarity. She said the creed as if she had known it her whole life…

Angelica woke up, in awe by what had just happened. She remembered lying in bed the night before and asking herself, “What do I believe in?” …only to experience a dream reciting a prayer who’s first three words were…“I believe in…” Her heart was molded, transformed in a way she didn’t realize was possible. Angelica knew God had spoken to her that night, allowing her to see in a concrete way what He desired her to believe in. God quite literally opened her ears, eyes, and even mouth to His word, His promise.

Angelica spoke to a priest the next day, told her parents about her spiritual transformation, and was baptized a week later into the Catholic Church. She told me that she was so excited, she simply could not wait. She now lives every aspect of her life for Christ, giving all of herself to Him daily. Angelica is so truly passionate about her faith, such a living witness of Christ´s transforming power.  

I walked into that lunch date thinking I had Angelica and her faith story all figured out.

Expectations? Better not.